The Bucket List Bear Trap
And the Seductive Grasp of Mimetic Desire
You and I, as humans, have a natural desire to what the things that other people want. Warmth, food, shelter, a tribe - those things have been necessary and wanted by all since the beginning, but as our civilization has become prosperous we now stumble blindly through a thicket of desire.
Far from the simple needs that we needed to fulfill for much of human existence, we now have an endless amount of things to want and lust after. The most terrible part of it all, and the part you’ll least want to realize, is that most of your desires aren’t your own…They are someone else’s.
Mimetic Desire
Have you ever found yourself suddenly overwhelmed with positive emotion toward an idea after someone else expressed excitement towards it?
I know I have.
Last summer I worked as an EMT on wildfires in the US. It’s a strange job, no doubt about that - lots of good people, plenty of bad people, long hours, and moments of excitement. I found myself partnered with a young paramedic in an our company’s ambulance on my first ever assignment.
He was just a couple years older than me and had been working in EMS since he was 17 years old. This guy had worked on fires the past couple years to earn extra cash as a paramedic, and even ended up joining a Hotshot crew (specialized wildland hand crew) for a short period.
Before I met him, he was working on fires in Alaska for 40 days. Enduring long hours, a cold and wet climate, and the inescapable swarms of mosquitos.
Every time he spoke about it I could hear the excitement in his voice. It was an adventure that few ever get to experience. From this, I began to notice a change in my own thinking, however.
All of the sudden my thoughts were oriented towards wildfires. His excitement (and desire to continue work on fires) completely engulfed the thoughts of what my future could look like.
Maybe I could work on a hand crew or even become a smoke jumper?
It was odd to see my mind orient completely to someone else’s wants.
But, the French philosopher Rene Girard came up with a theory to describe this phenomenon among humans…Mimetic Desire: The desire of one mimics the desire of another.
Any huge surge or retraction in a measurable market can serve as an example of mimetic desire at play. Take Bitcoin for example, as more and more people (especially people of influence) begin to speak of their desire to have it, more people want it too.
The ebb and flow of changes in just about anything is compounded by peoples’ desire to want the things other people want.
Bucket Lists
This translates perfectly to bucket lists, which originally come from the 2007 movie, The Bucket List. The basis of the movie is that, “Two terminally ill men escape from a cancer ward and head off on a road trip with a wish list of to-dos before they die.”
Some of the things on the bucket list in the movie were:
Skydive
Get a tattoo
Drive a Shelby Mustang
Visit the Great Pyramids
Ride Motorcycles on the Great Wall of China
See the Taj Mahal
Go on a safari
Kiss the most beautiful girl in the world
Climb mount Everest (symbolically)
Since that movie came out it’s not uncommon to find other people with their own bucket list.
And, the fact is bucket lists aren’t bad, it’s essentially just a list of things you’d like to do before you kick the bucket. However, when combined with Mimetic Desire it turns into a completely soulless pursuit.
(Sourced from go2africa.com)
Apparently, according to this article from go2africa.com, the top 20 bucket list experiences for people around the world include going to some of the crappiest places in the world - including New York, Disney World, the Eiffel Tower, and the Grand Canyon.
Why is this?
Once again, it’s Mimetic Desire. These places in the world, once beautiful and impressive are now nothing but tourist destinations. The charm they once possessed is entirely wiped away.
Mount Everest is a perfect example of the destructive nature of Mimetic Desire…
Sir Edmund Hillary was the first man to climb Mount Everest when he reached the summit on May 29th, 1953. It was a feat of sheer human will and unquenchable desire for adventure.
But, things have changed…
If you happened to hear someone mention that they climbed Mount Everest 20 years ago or more, you’d have been impressed. Now though, Mount Everest is nothing but a tourist destination - riddled with trash at the basecamp, sherpas to carry all your crap, and a trail to follow.
Notice how all of the mystical charm is suddenly gone.
It’s akin to a very difficult trail ride on horseback…but you have someone leading your horse, the trail is carved out, and you’ve got a string of 15 other people behind you.
Independant Desire: The Antitode
On it’s face, Mimetic Desire isn’t necessarily bad - of course we are going to want the things other people want.
The problem occurs when all of our motivation to act in the world is tied up in the wants of another. At that point, something other than us (something hollow) is occupying the place of our soul.
Not only that, but the destruction of all external beauty is brought on with haste as soon as Mimetic Desire takes it’s hold. The romance of the Eiffel Tower, the enchanting seclusion of a mountain summit, the impressive architecture of a prosperous city - it all becomes perverted and turned into an attraction on the carnival of mass Mimetic Desire.
“I can teach anybody how to get what they want out of life. The problem is that I can't find anybody who can tell me what they want.”
-Mark Twain
When without our own desires we attach ourselves to those of others.
The key or the antidote, at least in my experience lies in developing an ultimate desire that will never be surpassed by Mimetic Desire. Your ultimate desire, when you do eventually find it, will not be so much about what you can have or how many sights you can see…it’ll be about who you can become. When you do that all of the sudden the bucket list type things you chose to pursue will have meaning.
It won’t be about checking a box and taking a picture of yourself at Machu Picchu for Facebook. No, every act will be done with purpose: to do the things the person you want to be would do.
Combine an ultimate personal desire with an understanding of the true finitude of time and you will have a deadly foundation for success.
Bucket lists aren’t the answer…Do the things the person you want to be would do…and do those things relentlessly.
RE the Grand Canyon on your 'crappiest places' list: It's only the rim that is a tourist destination and a few pay to ride mules to Phantom Ranch at the bottom but wish they didn't and pray for it to be over.
Hike across the canyon (late October is good...you may not encounter another person) for a unique experience that's difficult to match as you transition through a billion+ years of geologic history while recognizing the land was the bottom of oceans multiple times. Next day, go back across the other way. I'm pretty sure you would have a memory to hold on to for the rest of your life.
Much of Europe has turned into a "bad trip" tourist trap place. A lot of the charm has gone since they have let every migrant into France, Spain and Germany. I have seen every state in the US with the exception for about 4 of them. The Islands have been corrupted, as well, and are too expensive. The US is gorgeous, if you avoid where everyone else goes to. Be careful, though! Pirates still exist, and so do pickpockets and drug induced freaks. The Grand Canyon is worth the trip. Stay well, Max!